ambiguous loss
ambiguous: open to more than one interpretation; having a double meaning, unclear or inexact because a choice between alternatives has not been made.
loss: the fact or process of losing something or someone; puzzled or uncertain what to think, say, do.
Its a term to attempt to conceptualize through our human experience when there is no clear answer to a loss. We have all been forced to live through unprecedented times over the past few years & I am impelled to believe we are all collectively grieving many different things simultaneously;
without the proper tools and resources to cope with life, every day living, and loss.
Can not help to wonder what the long term effects will be with the immeasurable unreconciled grief. families who dropped loved ones off @ hospitals and never seen them again; others were not able to host a traditional funeral rite/service. Losing a relationship(beyond mortality), losing a job, being diagnosed with an incurable disease are all events of loss. Life as you once knew it is no longer and now you have to find new way to maneuverer. Sometimes it’s hard for people to understand what they can’t see.
Compassion is rooted in understanding.
Grief, is a process with many moving parts. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss. Avoid saying “I know how you feel’, because you do not and you never will know exactly the way one is impacted.
Grief: deep sorrow, mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret.
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, are all responses to a loss. We have no way of knowing which one will show up to aid us through our new journey. We can not escape loss, but we can learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable by first addressing it.
Lead with love, in all your efforts and pursuits. Learning how to love is a way to heal. We need a community of healing and restoration. Unless we deliberately make our health and overall well being a central priority, we can not develop lifestyles that will advance our lives.
Admit that you NEED HELP.
It’s nothing wrong with not knowing how to deal with a challenge you’ve never been faced with before. Denial & staying silent will not help you. Stay encouraged, much easier said than done but it is possible.
Find a counselor, support group, a new hobby, affirmations to get you through. Create a plan to experience joy. Search for ways to incorporate self care, unreasonable happiness, and only surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Live life forward. Dare to find the courage to speak up for yourself and about things that really matter to you and your well being. Allow others to show up for you and when you have the capacity to do so, show up for others. Fully.
Remember, we are all experiencing ambiguous loss, show a little kindness and empathy.
The effort you give is corresponding to how you see it.
Sending you love, grace, joy, and bliss.
Until next time,
Melissa Summer Gray
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14: 27
